Christmas and Innocence

This blog is sort of a response to this blog post. Here. So go read it now! Otherwise it will not make sense.

You done? Good.

Yesterday I was decorating the tree like always. It was looking beautiful. I moved over to the box of novelties and sorted through it. Finally I found one that was mine. It was a silver bell with a deep maroon ribbon that had a gold trim. To anyone else this was a regular old bell with a regular old ribbon. But to me it is so much more.

It is my bell from Santa's sleigh.

Yes I have long abandoned my belief in Santa but one year when I was 8 or 9 I asked for a bell from Santa's Sleigh, just like in the Polar Express. I cannot remember whether or not I still believed at that point but I vividly remember what happened later.

I received my bell. It was beautiful. It was a silver but not shiny but not dull either. It had a maroon bow edged in gold. In my letter that Santa wrote back, he said that the bell came off of Rudolph's harness and Rudolph's helper elf gave me the bow.

When school started up again, I remember walking home one day from the bus stop and a kid tried to tell me Santa was not real. I got angry with him and yelled at him and told him Santa was real. He laughed and said, "Prove it" I thought for a moment and realized that my bell was the only proof I had. So I promised to bring him the bell the next day. He said, "Sure" and laughed and walked away.

I ran up to my house knowing the truth that I was never going to bring him my bell because Santa is not real.

I'm not so sure my innocence ended there. Innocence extends beyond the magic of a jolly guy in a red suit. I think it is chipped away each time you have to face something you are not ready for. It is never fully taken away, there is always some magic or wonderment in the world.

There are two significant things that have chipped at my innocence. These two things have taken the largest chunks out of me.
-The death of my best friend in eighth grade
-People who hate my mother

I may expand on these subjects later but for now I have given you enough food for thought.

Odette

Why Faith is Important

A paper I wrote for my English class that I am very proud of.

Faith is an abstract concept. Many great thinkers have tried to figure it out. No one has been successful in deciphering this idea that drives the world. “Faith makes all things possible…” and “To follow by faith alone is to follow blindly.” are quotes by Dwight L. Moody and Benjamin Franklin, respectively. The quotes show what these people think of faith. Whether Moody or Franklin is right, faith is an important part of everyone’s lives.

The sun, and staying alive are two things that most people seem to have faith in. People have faith that the sun will rise and that they will live to see tomorrow. Some may claim that it is not faith but applying previous knowledge, which if that is so, why do they smile at a beautiful sun rise or hug their loved ones in the morning? If they know that they will always be able to do it, why do it now? The truth is if no one had faith, everyone would live in fear of something happening or not happening. The world would be chaotic. People jumping at every noise or breathing a sigh of relief as the sun rises. Every single persons would be afraid. Fear is not something to live in but faith is.

Though some people scorn it and others live it, faith exists in all of us, whether we like it or not. Even though no one knows about faith for sure, we can believe in its power. Those who do not have faith in faith will live in fear. Those who know of faith will try to achieve it. Those who have faith will live. No one can claim that they know faith completely but everyone can claim that they have faith.

Odette

I am [insert who you think I am, everyone else does]

My need to vent has come.

Today I am Margo Roth Speilgelman. (Or however you spell it) Not just today but increasingly lately. Not it the sense that I am the object of someone’s affection and I am going to run away. Because everyone has their set ideal about me. Especially the parental units.

So recently our church got a woman going through seminary. She is a perfectly lovely lady but when she is up at the altar the crucifer has nothing to do basically. Acolyting is very important to me. I feel called to help set God’s table. I feel very lucky that I have gotten a call this early in life. But when the lady (we’ll call her Cherry Tuesday.) is up at the altar that is taken away from me. Yes I have reduced to tears over this. It seems unfair that I have this thing that makes me feel oh so close to God and it is ripped away from me. Yes other things make me feel close to God but this is the only one that happens this often.

So what does this have to do with Margo you ask?

My step mom thinks I am afraid of change. I am not. I embrace it. Yes, I love traditions but I understand that things must progress at their own pace to survive. If you hinder that progress and it eventually comes through, well look at China.

My dad thinks that when I do not like things, I just shut them out instead of trying to work with them. He pointed out thee areas of my life where I do not do that. I agree with him that in those three areas I suck, but there are tons of things in my life that annoy me but I work with them.

I do not know other peoples opinions of me when it comes to Cherry Tuesday but I do know some other things.

Most of my friends think I am this outgoing, crazy, girl who is so happy it is almost unbearable. I am really actually on the quiet sane side and I think I am depressed.

As much as I would love to continue to vent about my Margoness, I have blown off an English paper for far too long.

How do people see you? What are you really?

Odette